Derrick Rose's crap splits the water with purpose.

Rose is shy. On the court, Derrick Rose lets his game do the talking and keeps his feeling and thoughts internalized. Jut like the explosive SLAM dunks he drops, we bet he smashes out explosive turds. Plops that thunder towards the hole separating the defending water, leaving its mark on the bowl. Crap that lets its smell let everyone know its owner is to be taken seriously. Similar to the Incredible Hulk, we believe Rose fears to expose these capabilities. For this reason we predict Rose hates public washrooms when having to poo. I would venture to say that his turds are the badass type that clear the room. Picture it, Rose in a visitors change room without private washrooms. Sitting there he punishes the toilet with  a burrito inspired crap while Noah in the stall next to him.  Noah unprepared, gets his nostrils assaulted and acts like Costanza  in a fire at a kids party. Next thing you know the only one left in the change room in is Thibodeau shaking his head issuing the words; “NBA Pussies!” This is why I believe Rose and the Bulls have installed an industrial ventilation system into the teams locker room and his house.  Derrick Rose MVP, MVPlop!

Kevin Love's

Kevin Love, with his rebounding prowess, no doubt learned how to use his butt at an early age.  Receiving the tutelage of  ball-getter- greats like Bill Lambeer,  it is obvious that Love respects the art of  the board and the dump. The first thing about being a good rebounder is occupying space.  Thereby after his morning coffee and carving that fine chin strap into his face, I suspect he starts his poo routine; boxing out the upper-lid, bending his knees and keeping his back straight.  On the court, Mr. Love knows to move people out of space and let the ball come to him.  On the can, rather than straining to jump into action, Love clears his head and lets the poo come to him. Simply put, his poo clears people out of the way. I bet that if he ever lost control in a hot tub he would owe the owners a new tub.  For   Timberwolves’ scat this is not.  It is said that Love throws the best out-let pass in the basketball, we think he also knows how to “let out” Grizzly poops.  

 Is that a Mayo for Love trade I smell…oh no, that would be Bullsh*t.

Leading up to the all star game 100 Pieces of Poo will provide extremely intelligent hypothesis about this years crop of celebrated Basketball Players other dunks!

Lebron James....In Poo We Trust.

I hypothesize that like his game, Lebron's poo is freakish in size and bloody dynamic.  It can be big and heavy, explosive, diving right to the hole causing a lot of fouls. However, during important playoff games LJ has been  rumored to produce ghostly waste, disappearing into the bowl without a trace--barely whiffable.

I also bet Lebron James  inspects his own poo with a magnifying glass, a bible, a journal and a camera. Similar to those who have found images of the Mother of Jesus in grilled cheese sandwiches, Lebron pinches his nose and searches for images of Jesus or MJ in his turd to confirm that he is the "chosen one".  In fact, I heard a rumor that a lot of his defecates are the product of overeating grilled cheese sandwiches—he also looks for symbols in his food too. Continuing with speculation I bet he inspected Delonte West's poo for other reasons once.

Finally we at 100POP think that if  Lebron’s poo had an agent, it would probably have signed a lucrative deal with American Standard that only allows it to be flushed down products made by them; threatening all other toilets that touch a LBJ poo with serious litigigation.

 In fact, without permission, I may be sued for even talking about such a deal.

NBA ALL STAR CRAPS

Leading up to the all star game 100 Pieces of Poo will provide extremely intelligent hypothesis about this years crop of celebrated Basketball Players other dunks!

Kobe Lives Breathes and Craps Basketball

Kobe Bryant is arguably the most committed player to ever play the game of basketball. From personal trainers, yoga, extra workouts, film study and embracing the teachings of others who were great before him, Kobe has turned becoming great into a science. He doesn’t just play the game, he lives the game- using every moment to better his game.

            So with this in mind, you have to wonder what he does while he takes a poo. The scientists at 100POP believe Kobe works on his core balance. He probably has an Asian inspired hole-in-the-floor toilet so he can work on pivoting, post moves and boxing out; all the while squatting over a hole shitting. As Been gets older, his game has changed, I credit his pooing for his improved back to the basket post moves.

            Since he has committed his life to the perfection of the game, extracting every ounce of potential his body can muster, you've got to wonder if he has actually transformed the type of poo he has.  Maybe his dietitian has concocted an eating regime that has allowed him to actually poo in the shape of basketballs. 

            If basketball shaped poo would guarantee his team a win over the Celtics you know he would make it happen.