Earlier this year Kobe saw the movie Black Swan. Almost certainly inspired by Portman’s Oscar winning performance and Kunis’s looks, Kobe asked Pau Gasol to be more "Black Swan", and less "White Swan". This is hilarious in and of itself. First off, we believe Kobe saw the movie only because he is seriously giving ballet a shot in order to perfect his spin move and prolong his career (Good luck Kobe). Secondly, we at 100POP think this request was silly, ironic, and erroneous in nature. This is because “Black Swan” is the nickname we at 100POP had already given to Pau’--on the court and in the stall.
Now before we go on we must define what we believe is being, "Black Swan". To earn this title we argue one must be graceful, disheveled and dangerous. Pau looks like a coffee drinking insomniac--he's disheveled. To be more specific, he looks like a guy who has very little control over when and where his body needs rectal release--dangerous. Almost certainly, Pau regularly demonstrates grace and power as he Euro-steps his way past toilet lineups to explode with a ferocious darkness that you may not enjoy being around, but have to appreciate. Is this not Black Swan? More importantly this off court behavior is similar to how he drives to the basket, bypassing clunky seven footers, on route to pushing the ball through the hole?
Now before we go on we must define what we believe is being, "Black Swan". To earn this title we argue one must be graceful, disheveled and dangerous. Pau looks like a coffee drinking insomniac--he's disheveled. To be more specific, he looks like a guy who has very little control over when and where his body needs rectal release--dangerous. Almost certainly, Pau regularly demonstrates grace and power as he Euro-steps his way past toilet lineups to explode with a ferocious darkness that you may not enjoy being around, but have to appreciate. Is this not Black Swan? More importantly this off court behavior is similar to how he drives to the basket, bypassing clunky seven footers, on route to pushing the ball through the hole?
We also ascribed the epithet for the reason that his turdles probably float on the top of the bowl, circling with poise, before diving to the hole. During games, Pau likes to circle the top of the key and then dives down to the block for an easy deuce. This is why we say Pau’s potty practices and basketball game are very similar. Very Black Swan.
So this means Kobe was wrong, Pau shouldn’t try and be more Black Swan. No one should try to be what one is, its a waste of energy. Pau is Black Swan.
In conclusion, shame on you Kobe, you travel with the guy, you should have known this before you requested this. Don't use your teammates to hide your hidden agenda.
To Pau, from 100POP; "Don’t listen to Kobe, listen to us, be your swan like self, keep Euro-stepping toilet lines and dive bombing the lane."
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