A place that celebrates the most human stories!

A place that celebrates the most human stories!
Enjoy the NBA poo chronicles from the Scientists of 100POP. 100POP created this research in excitement for the launch of its first official POO STORY set for April 1st.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Ray Allen's Toilet Paper Practice



Ray Allen is a man of strict routine. Much has been made about his adherence to intense pre game shooting rituals. However, not enough has been made of Ray Allen's bathroom ceremonies. We believe that at 8:47AM every morning Ray sits on the toilet for approximately 7 and a half minutes. Like his jump shot, the shape, smell and form of his plop is consistently dense, dark and earthy in aroma. 
100POP logically guesses that this toilet time started at a very young age, when he was a toddler. Ray's mom is his biggest fan. TNT boom mics often capture her in the crowd saying, "That's my boy!". We think she sensed Ray's greatness early on and installed the practices that led to his jump shot supremacy. Our theory is that she encouraged Ray not to flush his used toilet paper down the drain after wiping. Instead she encouraged him to use the paper to practice his jump shot, placing a waste basket 22 feet from the toilet.  Many years later he is still doing this. We argue  that every day at 8:54:30AM Ray Allen shoots his toilet paper into a waste basket 22 feet from his toilet.  Thereby it can be said that the symmetrical rotation that has championed him as the best 3 Point shooter ever, comes from practiced toilet paper tosses. 
We think that last year in game seven of the Lakers/ Celtics NBA finals, Phil Jackson paid the  hotel cleaning staff at the Celtics hotel to push Ray's wakeup call back five minutes.  This caused Ray to shoot the toilet paper at 8:59:30 AM.  He definitely missed.  Lakers win!

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