In Game 2 of a playoff series against Atlanta in 2009 Wade got hot with the jumper and gave a performance that any basketball fan would admire. With a couple minutes left and Johnson making it his mission to stop Wade he hit one of the most spectacular three pointers I have witnessed live. After the shot he turned to the Atlanta fans pointed to himself and mouthed, “This is where amazing happens.” No, David Stern does not use mind control drugs on the NBA elite, rather, Wade believes himself to be spectacular--amazing. Cocksure amongst the cocksure it is a palpable fact that he thinks his shit does not stink.
Literally!
It is rumored that in sleek Miami there is a drug out there that makes your defecate smell like spring grass and the chirps of blue birds. We believe Dwayne Wade has been taking these pills from the day after he put Shaq on his back and brought Miami a championship. We believe he leaves his built up body waste in the bowl without flushing, letting all those around him to whiff his "unstink".
The problem was that no one in Miami ever wanted to upset Wade and let him know that what he was really taking was Pez candy and the whole thing was a scam. Now that Lebron and Bosh are in Miami and all three have six year contracts, the fear of displeasing Wade has diminished. We believe this seasons sporadic games filled with turnovers and bad shots are due to his coming to grips with the fact his shit does stink and people are not afraid to yell at him for not flushing. We believe that all that Pez has made his poo smell really bad; baby diaper filled with rotten eggs and sour milk bad. We at 100POP think that out of all the All Stars Wade definitely has the most nasally offensive dumps.
Don’t blame Lebron or Bosh, blame medicine Wade.
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